google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
its not stalking. its research.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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