I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
