i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I will die if light touches me.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
