hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
