Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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