I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
