he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
