You're completely useless in the revolution.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
