So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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