I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
