She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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