If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
