I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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