I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
