I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
