Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
