In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
