We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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