your room smells of hookers.
And success
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
