i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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