did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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