haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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