I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
