just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
