i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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