well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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