I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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