well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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