if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
