shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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