I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
