dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
