so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
