Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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