Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
