We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
