Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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