member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
