He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
