Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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