I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
barbara walters just said penis...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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