That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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