So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
