i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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