apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
