it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
