so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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