All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
