im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
