We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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