i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
