I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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