Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
