When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
